Friday, September 16, 2005

Where is this retirement going?

So far I’ve been writing mainly about getting away from the old patterns, breaking the habits of excessive busyness. What am I going towards? Something about spirit and creativity. I want the spaciousness to welcome contemplative moments and hours, the time to sit and watch trees grow and their leaves fall. I want the time to dip in and out of creativity, to sit down at the kitchen table and pull the pastels towards me, or pull up the laptop and make a new poem.

I haven’t yet found my new rhythm. It will take a while. I have a few fixed things in my week: my writing group, two movement groups, and my volunteering to help a Senegalese immigrant with computer skills. Then there are almost-daily hikes, times with friends, and chores. And now I may be organizing a local effort to help a Louisiana town in the aftermath of Katrina.

This is a perfect time to learn how to balance these things in a new way that puts the inner life first.

All my life I’ve done the “necessary” things first, then tried to find time for play and spirit. Now I want to be the dreamy one looking out the window, the doodler who does not hear the teacher’s voice. Put off the projects and do the spirit-work first. I did that today, making two drawings and going on a walk before I started a round of phone calls. Step by step into the unknown.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ann,

I don't know what a blog is but yours is wonderful. I adore your musings about time ...love taffy image and applaud your work for those hit hard by Katrina. See you soon,

Bless you,
Esther

Ann McNeal said...

Thanks for your comments. I wonder how you found my writing?

A blog is short for "web log."

All the best,
Ann

Anonymous said...

It sounds like you have a wonderful life, the only thing that is missing is a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. He came to make our lives more complete and to give it meaning. My prayer is that you will come to know Him as your creator and Lord.

Ann